Two Months and Holding On

Hey Friends,

I had to go back and read my last post about where we were one month after Millie was born! In some ways we have come a long way and in other ways I still sit here a little puzzled.

Millie is two months old and while it feels like she has been here forever and the days are very long, I'm trying really hard to treasure these early stages. The stages of hearing her sweet noises while nursing. The stages of seeing her smile at her big sisters. The stages of her discovering her voice. As I was looking at her today while nursing, I couldn't help but be so thankful for the gift she is. She has been by far the hardest baby of the three. She is typically only content if she is being held. We are having longer stretches of her being happy, but what I'm getting at is that it has been difficult. Yet, I look at her and see such a gift that God gave us.

Since last month, I took Millie back to the doctor because she was spitting up a lot and just looked to be in pain, and arching her back. My doc diagnosed her with silent reflux and we got her on baby zantac. The result was pretty amazing. The second day of her being on the medicine I had put her on the floor on a blanket while I made lunch. She fell asleep. I almost cried tears of joy because this would have never happened before. Like I said, usually when she is awake she would be crying. It would take walking and rocking back and forth from one side of the house to the other for her to fall asleep. Now, I believe Millie has colic because she has the same "witching hour" every night, but I also believe it is getting better. Praise God! She is definitely growing. She has amazing cheeks, some incredible thigh rolls, and a delightful smile. She loves silly sounds, and loves to have serious discussions as well. She sleeps really well. The other night she slept for nine hours straight! Usually she wakes up once or twice. Her temperament still reminds me of Ruby and while I thought she looked more like Ruby, I'm not so sure anymore. I think she the perfect little balance or Ruby and Stella. We will see. Their looks change so much, but one thing that I'm pretty sure of is that she will have brown eyes like her big sisters. Gosh they are so pretty and get them out of trouble so often. Sometimes when the girls are focused on a show or something else I will just look at their big brown eyes.

The first month that Millie was here I struggled BIG time with the big girls. Millie was so so needy and I just had the hardest time being consistent with loving the bigs well. I was listening to a podcast called Risen Motherhood. I don't know if y'all have listened, but it does a great job of going through different trials that a mother goes through and relating the gospel to that. I had really been struggling with anger and it was really hard seeing my sin come out in Ruby and Stella. The way they would raise their voice at one another, the way they would just be short with one another was the exact way I was treating them. I had kind of "given up" if you will because I was so focused on Millie. Not only Millie, but selfishly doing things that I wanted to do as well whether it was checking social media or trying to get the laundry done. It wasn't until I remembered that I've been called to be their mom. I need to be a mom that loves, corrects, has compassion, teaches, etc. Not a mom that treats them like a burden. Oofta. That almost brings tears to my eyes because that is what I was viewing them as. Since then and that moment of realization, I have prayed for my girls more, prayed for Ben and I more, and tried to really put my identity in Christ and know that He is the only one who can bring us joy. He is the only one who can provide the calm. He is the only one who can provide that agape love.

With all of that said, we are anxious to see what this next month brings. Ruby will continue to go to pre-school (which she loves.) Stella loves going to MOPS. In fact, when praying at night, Stella often wants to pray for her teachers. We also go to ECFE on Friday mornings and both the girls love going there as well. Ruby is a definite extrovert. Stella is more introverted, but goes with the flow. We all like getting out each day doing something. This week in particular looks like it is going to be nice, so we will be outside as much as possible! Please continue to pray for Millie. Pray that her colic would go away soon and that her silent reflux would get better. I think we have to up the dosage because we are seeing some of the same symptoms as before. Thank you for reading...if any of you are indeed reading! haha. I was telling someone the other day that it has been SO helpful for me to go back and read what I blogged about when Ruby and Stella were this age. Well, here is to another month everyone!

Sweet girl is 2 months old! 

Yummy thighs. 

Ruby LOVES pre-school! 

                                                 
                                   Just on our nightly stroll from one side of the house to the other.

The girls got to go on a ride in a firetruck. Pretty cool. I'm not sure who had more fun...them, or Ben. 

I took away Ruby's nap because she was wide awake at 9:30. This particular day she must have really needed the nap because she fell asleep on the couch. 

He is the best! He made them a home made kite! 

Seriously. How could you not love those silly faces! 

Sweet sweet girl. 

One (long) Month!

Hey Everyone,

Here we are. We have made it to one month. Millie is officially one month old and friends, let me tell you in all honesty. It has NOT been easy. Lets start at the beginning shall we?

When I was in the hospital after having Millie I kept having these headaches. They would not go away with ibuprofen or caffeine. I chalked it up to being sleep deprived from basically being up for the two days previous. I did think it was weird though that ibuprofen wasn't working since that almost always does the trick. Millie was born on Wednesday and by Thursday evening we were home. The next day whenever I would stand up my head just started pounding. I would lie down and it was like my headache was gone. It was so strange. It only got worse though. I would sit up to nurse Millie and all of a sudden my neck would be stiff and my head continued to pound. I would lie back down and the headache was completely gone. Hmm, this is so strange. I couldn't play with the bigger girls. Literally the only thing I did until Monday was sit up to nurse Millie. It's all I could do. I called my doctor on Monday and said this isn't right. Turns out I was having a spinal headache from my epidural. This happens in about 1 in every 100 women. I was that lucky 1%. My doctor said I could either take narcotics with high doses of caffeine OR come in for a blood patch procedure. I opted for the latter. It's basically where they do another epidural, but they insert blood that they take from your arm and inject that into the epidural space. It then creates a patch over the spot where the spinal fluid was leaking. Let me tell you, as soon as this was done my headache was GONE. It was a miracle!!

Thankfully we got through that obstacle. Millie started off nursing great and still does for that matter. However about one or two weeks in it seemed and still does that if she isn't eating or sleeping (mostly on me) she is crying and looking like she is in pain. I'm thinking it is gas, so I have given up dairy. I'm only on day 3, but it isn't so bad. The hardest part is when Millie is upset and my other two girls are fighting, which has been happening A LOT lately. Any tips are definitely welcome. I'm talking if they are in the same room, they are most likely fighting, hitting each other, or running to me to tell me that so and so hit them. It is exhausting friends. I've been praying like crazy that God would meet me in this really hard spot right now. I want to enjoy my kids, but sometimes it isn't that simple. Sometimes parenting isn't always fun, but I'm thankful for the good moments that God has shown me. There have been plenty of those too!

Millie:
So, Millie is one month. She is a pretty good sleeper. She wakes up 2-3 times a night and sometimes just depends on how gassy she is. She has started smiling socially and it is the sweetest thing. She has also started cooing and it's the most peaceful sound around. I can't get enough of it. She is great at eating and is growing like a weed. She reminds me SO much of Ruby as a baby. She makes the same sounds that Ruby would make while nursing. She has the same temperament as Ruby had. If you could, please pray with us though that giving up dairy (for me) and whatever else that she would start feeling better! Oh yeah, she also caught her first cold from Stella. Poor girl. Thankfully we have been on top of it with suctioning out her nose.

Stella:
Stella is my easy baby. Especially when it is just her. She will sit and play with toys quietly, read books, and just be content. She loves singing, dancing, and doing ANYTHING that Ruby is doing. She unfortunately has a hard time sharing with Ruby and will often fight over something that I don't even think she truly wants, it's just because Ruby has it. Ruby has been going to pre-school and I have so enjoyed my time with just Stella. She loves Millie and loves to sing to her and pet her head. :)

Ruby:
Ruby has had a lot of changes since Millie being born. About a week after Millie was born, Ruby started Pre-School. She goes on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 9-11:30. I'm not going to lie, it has been a Godsend. She LOVES pre-school and I love hearing all that they do. It is a Christian based pre-school and so far we have had a great experience! She also has started going to Awana at our church on Wednesday nights. She is memorizing scripture and it is just so fun. We are really struggling as parents right now though on how to  parent Ruby. She is pretty high strung and has been pretty defiant lately. Please pray with us that we would be able to love her well and discipline her in love.

Ben:
Ben has been enjoying teaching this year. This quarter he is teaching Physical Education, Physics, and Auto. He is SUCH an incredible daddy. He often comes home to chaos and sometimes all of his ladies in tears. Yes, ALL of his ladies. He is so great about taking the older two and doing fun things with them while I walk with Millie or while I'm feeding her. Ben is a pretty quiet guy, but he is one of the biggest blessings in my life and in my girls life. I'm so thankful that he chooses to be present with us. He could be doing MANY other things, but he chooses us. Thank you, Ben!

Me:
I'm hanging in there. I don't want to sound so Debbie downer, because there has been so many blessings this past month, but I would be lying if I told you it was easy. Having three babies who are three and under is not easy. I would not change what I'm doing for a second. I love being a mom. I love staying at home with them and seeing them grow. I love getting to pray with them and for them on a daily basis. I can tell you though friends that without the Lord, I have NO clue what I would be doing right now. God always shows up in the good times and the hard times. He is my refuge and strength! I also just want to say how thankful I am for my mom as well. She has spent countless hours at my house helping out. Thanks, mom! We are all praying that the next month goes smoothly! Thanks for reading!

Ruby on the left and Millie on the right. 

Such a good daddy! 

Catching smiles! 

Ruby on her first field trip. Thankful that my mom was able to go along with her! 

How I get anything done. 

Cookies! 

Real life. 

Millie's Birth Story

Hey Everyone,

I haven't blogged since Stella turned 2. Life gets busy with littles and I'm coming to find that adding a baby to the mix will make it even busier. I can't tell you how much I love reading or hearing other people's birth stories. I always tell people that pregnancy and childbirths are one of the coolest miracles that God orchestrates! I also love that I blogged about Ruby and Stella's stories as well. I can't tell you how many times I have gone back to read those. I should maybe print those out in case the internet ever gets blown up. ha! Anyway, on with the star of the show.

Millie Kennedy Harvey. Ben and I had a really hard time coming up with a name. Until we came up with her name! :) Ruby and Stella were both named after family members. Ruby was Ben's grandmas name and Stella was Ben's Great Grandma's name. We kind of liked the idea of keeping the name in the family. As you all know my dad passed away three years ago. His mom's name whom I never met was Helen Mildred Kennedy. At first we had thought Helen would be a great name. Then a couple weeks later, Ben wasn't as sure. So, I was talking to my mom about it and she said well, they never called her Helen they called her Millie. We instantly loved it. My maiden name was Anne Louise Kennedy. Tell me if you see a pattern in our girls. Ruby Ann (no e as it was after my mom and grandma's middle name) Stella Louise, and now Millie Kennedy. Get it? Our girls middle names was my maiden name. Cool, eh? Now, onto the birth story.

As some of you may know, I was growing quite impatient waiting for Millie to come. This pregnancy was particularly hard towards the end. I was bigger, my hips and pelvis hurt almost all of the time, and I had little energy. I think one of the hardest parts was feeling kind of helpless when it came to taking care of Ruby and Stella. Ben will get a huge shout out later in the story. Anyway, I hated that I wasn't able to get down on the floor comfortably with them and play or I couldn't tolerate the heat as much when is all they wanted to do was be outside. It was painful both mentally and physically. I thought since I was so big that maybe Millie would come early. Or maybe that she was my third baby that she would come early. Or maybe, since I told her she would be my favorite kid if she came early that she would come early. Well, none of those things happened. In fact at my 40 week appointment I was not dilated at all. That shouldn't have surprised me because Ruby and Stella were the exact same way. Girls stick together I guess. I really wanted to avoid an induction, but we scheduled one anyway. Ben starts inservice days on the 27th, so we wanted to have as much time as we could with him home. So, the induction was set for Thursday the 23rd at 7:00 AM. I was trying to do all the things to bring this girl naturally. I'm talking eating spicy food, pineapple, going for long walks, bouncing on a ball at the gym, swimming, traveling out of town, dancing in the living room with the girls. You name it and I was trying it. On Saturday night I started having some super mild contractions. They were so mild I was unsure if that is what they really were. They were also very spread apart. As in hours apart. I still remained hopeful that it would turn into something. The next day came and I had nothing. Sunday was the same story. Every once in awhile I would have a contraction. Monday came and nothing was happening, so we went down to Ben's parents for the day. I started getting a little more frequent contractions and they were a little bit stronger. I though, holy smokes this would be awesome! I called my mom when we got home and just said just in case be ready to come here if they get closer together. Well, at around midnight they were coming about every 7 minutes. They still weren't super intense, but they were  frequent enough that I called my mom. She came out and as soon as she got here it seemed like things slowed down again. Ugh! Woke up the next morning and I had a 9:00 appointment with my OB. She checked my cervix and I was dilated to a 3. Yahoo!!! I Thought for sure she would just send me upstairs after stripping my membranes. Nope, she stripped my membranes and sent me home. I did ask if I could get induced one day early instead. She agreed. Remember how I wanted to avoid induction? Well, I was too impatient and sick of not getting sleep at that point. That following night (Tuesday) I had extremely painful contractions, but they were coming every 15 minutes. These contractions were way more painful than any I had with Ruby or Stella. I was honestly afraid that I was going to have Millie in our house because of how painful they were. When I'm in pain I don't want anyone talking to me or touching me. Lucky for Ben, he was able to sleep. The next morning came and we had to be at the hospital by 6:45. I could not wait. I basically wanted to walk in there, demand an epidural with some sort of cocktail to follow. I was so so tired after 48 hours of contractions and virtually no sleep. We arrived at the hospital. We had made it. The end was in site.

The delivery portion was great. I was quite anxious to find out what the contractions all night had done to my cervix. I was so anxious that my heart rate was up. The nurse asked if I was nervous. haha. I said yes. It seemed to take her forever to check me, but once she did she said that I was at a 3. THREE? Are you kidding me? The hardest contractions of my life got me nowhere? So, they started me on piton and my contractions were coming every 3 minutes. I asked for the epidural and thankfully Mr. Anesthesiologist man was quick to come. I don't want to mention any names, but the anesthesiologist reminded me of someone off of Grey's Anatomy who got into trouble for being drunk. Thankfully, this guy was not drunk and he did a great job of giving me relief. I kind of wanted to give him a hug when he left, but thought that was inappropriate. My Doctor came in a little later...she is amazing by the way. If any of you are reading this and are from around Buffalo....I will hook you up. She is incredible. She came in and checked me and said I was at a 5. Yes! We are getting closer to meeting this sweet girl! She left to go get changed. This was her day off mind you. My nurse gave me a birthing peanut ball. It's literally a ball that looks like a peanut. It is what did the trick for me and Stella and it ended up doing the trick to bring Millie. During this time however I got extremely sweaty and nauseous. I thought I was going to throw up. Is all i needed was a wet rag, ice chips, and to have my bed put up a little bit. It didn't last long. My doctor came back and I was at a 9. YESSS! So stinking close. She came back a couple minutes later she checked and it was go time! I was so excited and so relieved. During my contractions, they would tell me to push and that is what I did. In between contractions it felt like we were casually having coffee talking about tattoos. That is really what we were talking about....tattoos and if they hurt or not. ha! Anyway, it only took two pushes and how came Millie. She had her hand up by her face and she came out crying away. She cried a lot more than my other girls. She also peed on me first thing. Ah well! The amount of relief that I had was incredible. To finally hold her on my chest and get glimpses of her dark hair. There is no better feeling on this earth! She weighed 7 lbs. 11 ounces. She was my biggest baby yet!

We are now at home and so enjoying this peanut. Ruby absolutely adores Millie. She wants to hold her all the time. She sings Jesus Loves Me to her in the sweetest little voice. She will do anything for me as long as it involves Millie in some way. ha! Stella on the other hand isn't as into Millie just yet. She loves holding her, but she also would rather just play with her toys. She doesn't understand either I don't think that Millie is real and that you can't just shake her rock-n-play as hard as you want. haha, either way Stella is still super sweet. She just needs to be watched around Millie. Now onto one of my favorite humans of all time...Ben. He is going to get his own paragraph.

Ben is incredible. He never once complained about having to do pretty much everything in the last few weeks. I'm talking laundry, cleaning, dishes, cooking, and everything in between. Not to mention being the most fun dad and taking the girls places when I just needed a break. He encouraged me daily by asking me what I needed. He never made me feel guilty for not being able to do much. He continued to check in with me to find out how I was doing each night. Each night we talk about our high's and low's from the day and how we can be praying for one another. I just felt so loved throughout these last few weeks. Then, comes baby and he continues to be so wonderful. He asked if it would be helpful to take the girls and I said, well, that might be my new love language. Ha! I love the girls, but right now it was been so nice to get some alone time with Millie...and catch up on some rest. She likes to sleep during the day and then cluster feed until about 1:00 in the morning. Sleeping during the day with a 2 and 3 year old just doesn't happen. Anyway, Ben has been amazing!

Another special shout out to my mom who came and spent the night two nights in a row and occupied the girls while I was having contractions. She made the best meatloaf and it was just so nice having her here. Another shout out to Ben's parents who also took the girls to their house for two nights. It allowed Ben and I to come home from the hospital and have one more night without the girls. We were able to rest and enjoy a little calm before the storm. So, thank you parents! We love you!

I will try and keep y'all update on how things are going. Ben goes back to school on Monday. Ruby starts pre-school on the 4th and hopefully we will find a routine once again! Thanks for reading!

Ruby meets Stella

Proud Daddy. I asked him who Millie looked like. His response was, "a baby." haha

Ruby. Stella. Millie 

Grandma meeting Millie

Not moving. 

Ben continues to be fun. He made them ghost costumes. 

Stella is Two!!!

     It has been forever since I have written a blog post and I was just telling Ben how excited I was to write one for Stella's  second birthday. This girl. I tell you what. I'm a bit obsessed with her and who she is becoming. Her personality is starting to show more and more each day. She is all sorts of quirky. She is our "family clown." She does certain things that make us all laugh so hard and it only encourages her to do more.
     In some ways I can't believe Stella is two now. In other ways I feel like she has been in our family forever. Well, let's be honest...I did pretty much have her when Ruby was an infant. Ok, ok, Ruby was 15 months old when Stella was born. Stella has been a dream. Seriously. I can say that now because Ruby was much more difficult as an infant and toddler and she still is. I'm hoping that Stella keeps being an "easy" child and that baby number three follows in her footsteps. Let me brag on Stella a little bit. She eats pretty much whatever I put in front of her. This includes one of Ben and I's favorite meal of spicy sirracha shrimp noodles. She loves them. She says spicy and then asks for more. She doesn't really care for sweets, which I guess is just strange to me. I thought about taking her to get donuts tomorrow and then I thought, oh wait, that is just me who wants them. ha! If you ask her what she wants for her birthday, she will promptly tell you that she wants treats. I think this is something that Ruby told her she wanted. Argh. Stella goes with the flow. She sleeps great. In the morning and after her nap she will lay there talking to herself until we go in and pick her up. Seriously, we could leave her there for 30 minutes and she would be perfectly content. Stella also LOVES babies. I hope this is still true in four months. Wherever we go, she must say hi to all the babies and she will let us know that there is a baby.

Now I will just upload a bunch of pictures of this sweet girl. She is so much fun and I can't wait to see what the future holds for her!

This is her first birthday. 

I LOVE how much Stella loves Ruby and how much Ruby loves Stella. I pray their relationship will continue to grow into the best friendship! 

Remember when I said she didn't care for sweets? She will eat ice cream! 

She loves reading right now and she alway loves Daddy! 

Dairy Queen for the win! 

We had a blast going to the Como Zoo with my mom the other day! 

Oh sweet Stella Louise. We love you so much! I'm so thankful that God chose me to be your mom. You were fearfully and wonderfully made!  I hope you have the best day and that you have the best year as a two year old!