I had to go back and read my last post about where we were one month after Millie was born! In some ways we have come a long way and in other ways I still sit here a little puzzled.
Millie is two months old and while it feels like she has been here forever and the days are very long, I'm trying really hard to treasure these early stages. The stages of hearing her sweet noises while nursing. The stages of seeing her smile at her big sisters. The stages of her discovering her voice. As I was looking at her today while nursing, I couldn't help but be so thankful for the gift she is. She has been by far the hardest baby of the three. She is typically only content if she is being held. We are having longer stretches of her being happy, but what I'm getting at is that it has been difficult. Yet, I look at her and see such a gift that God gave us.
Since last month, I took Millie back to the doctor because she was spitting up a lot and just looked to be in pain, and arching her back. My doc diagnosed her with silent reflux and we got her on baby zantac. The result was pretty amazing. The second day of her being on the medicine I had put her on the floor on a blanket while I made lunch. She fell asleep. I almost cried tears of joy because this would have never happened before. Like I said, usually when she is awake she would be crying. It would take walking and rocking back and forth from one side of the house to the other for her to fall asleep. Now, I believe Millie has colic because she has the same "witching hour" every night, but I also believe it is getting better. Praise God! She is definitely growing. She has amazing cheeks, some incredible thigh rolls, and a delightful smile. She loves silly sounds, and loves to have serious discussions as well. She sleeps really well. The other night she slept for nine hours straight! Usually she wakes up once or twice. Her temperament still reminds me of Ruby and while I thought she looked more like Ruby, I'm not so sure anymore. I think she the perfect little balance or Ruby and Stella. We will see. Their looks change so much, but one thing that I'm pretty sure of is that she will have brown eyes like her big sisters. Gosh they are so pretty and get them out of trouble so often. Sometimes when the girls are focused on a show or something else I will just look at their big brown eyes.
The first month that Millie was here I struggled BIG time with the big girls. Millie was so so needy and I just had the hardest time being consistent with loving the bigs well. I was listening to a podcast called Risen Motherhood. I don't know if y'all have listened, but it does a great job of going through different trials that a mother goes through and relating the gospel to that. I had really been struggling with anger and it was really hard seeing my sin come out in Ruby and Stella. The way they would raise their voice at one another, the way they would just be short with one another was the exact way I was treating them. I had kind of "given up" if you will because I was so focused on Millie. Not only Millie, but selfishly doing things that I wanted to do as well whether it was checking social media or trying to get the laundry done. It wasn't until I remembered that I've been called to be their mom. I need to be a mom that loves, corrects, has compassion, teaches, etc. Not a mom that treats them like a burden. Oofta. That almost brings tears to my eyes because that is what I was viewing them as. Since then and that moment of realization, I have prayed for my girls more, prayed for Ben and I more, and tried to really put my identity in Christ and know that He is the only one who can bring us joy. He is the only one who can provide the calm. He is the only one who can provide that agape love.
With all of that said, we are anxious to see what this next month brings. Ruby will continue to go to pre-school (which she loves.) Stella loves going to MOPS. In fact, when praying at night, Stella often wants to pray for her teachers. We also go to ECFE on Friday mornings and both the girls love going there as well. Ruby is a definite extrovert. Stella is more introverted, but goes with the flow. We all like getting out each day doing something. This week in particular looks like it is going to be nice, so we will be outside as much as possible! Please continue to pray for Millie. Pray that her colic would go away soon and that her silent reflux would get better. I think we have to up the dosage because we are seeing some of the same symptoms as before. Thank you for reading...if any of you are indeed reading! haha. I was telling someone the other day that it has been SO helpful for me to go back and read what I blogged about when Ruby and Stella were this age. Well, here is to another month everyone!
Sweet girl is 2 months old!
Yummy thighs.
Ruby LOVES pre-school!
Just on our nightly stroll from one side of the house to the other.
The girls got to go on a ride in a firetruck. Pretty cool. I'm not sure who had more fun...them, or Ben.
I took away Ruby's nap because she was wide awake at 9:30. This particular day she must have really needed the nap because she fell asleep on the couch.
He is the best! He made them a home made kite!
Seriously. How could you not love those silly faces!
Sweet sweet girl.
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