He SHOULD be turning 62

Hey All,

Today my dad should be turning 62. Instead, exactly 2 years ago, he found out that he may have cancer. That nightmare became a reality a couple weeks later and it eventually took his life.

You know when you hear people say that when they lose a loved one that not a day goes by without thinking about that person? I know this is just kind of wrong, but I've always wondered, do people REALLY think about their loved ones every single day. The answer is yes. Every single day since my dad passed away I have thought about him. He comes out often in the way I parent my girls. He comes out in the silly songs that I sing to them. He comes out in my easy going attitude on life. He comes out when I try to get under Ben's skin just to see a reaction. Ruby and Stella do certain things and I just think of how much my dad would love that or get a kick out of it. There are days that I think about him and just smile and it is SO easy to talk about him. There are other days where Ben will come into the room and I have tears in my eyes and is all I can say is, "I just miss my dad."

I hate cancer. I really really really hate cancer. Anyone who has been through what I went through will agree that cancer sucks. However, I have something that not everyone has. I have hope in Jesus. I don't think that God planned for my dad to die of cancer, however I do know that He was in control and still is. I'm thankful that my dad knew the Lord and gets to spend eternity in heaven. I'm thankful that because I know and trust Jesus as my savior that I will get to see my dad again. God has given me such peace and comfort in living without my earthly father. Are there hard days? Yep, you read about them. Being a christian doesn't mean that your life is easy. On those hard days I cling ever so tightly to my God who gives me peace, understanding, love, and contentment.

I know everyone says this, but MY dad was the very best. He was a dad that showed up. He cared. He loved us hard. He protected us. He made me laugh with tears in my eyes. He worked hard. He was easy going. He loved my mom. He provided for us. He was spontaneous. He was simply the best. So, I guess this blog post is a tribute to my dad. I understand this now...not a single day goes by that I don't think of him. I miss him, but cling to the comfort that God has given me. I will forever be grateful for what he taught me and showed me in his short 60 years of life. I love you dad!

                                     

I always remember my dad with a Diet Coke in his hand. 

Before Ben and I moved to Alaska.

Pregnant with Ruby.